We are often told to be happy; we must feel a sense of gratitude. Many pundits tout that if I can have a gratitude list, this will give me energy every day and start the day with good thoughts.
I have found that willing myself to feel gratitude is very difficult. I know logically that being grateful for what I have now allows me to be at peace to perform at my best when it comes to love. True gratitude frames an attitude to love more strongly, support more emphatically, and help more frequently.
It is hard to see that every obstacle is a seed for a greater benefit and an attitude of gratitude in a storm’s window. It is hard to remember that we came to drain the swamp when we are up to our eyeballs in crocodiles. Here is my secret that re-centers me to the north star of gratitude. MORTALITY. We are all mortal, and at some point, we realize that we are all just going to die. Appreciate the present moment. Everything is temporary, and be grateful for those helping you; it will be over before you imagine. Gratitude is the difference between entitlement and privilege.
My mother called me yesterday to tell me that one of her best friends has died. I had seen her best friend 5 months before at my uncle’s funeral, and sadly that was the last time I did see her. She had a heart attack, and in a matter of hours, she was gone. It was so sudden that my mother did not even get the heart attack news but only her friend’s passing. Death: it will shake you to the core, but it does make me remember to live gratefully. Grateful for all gifts given to us in this life will one day be taken back.
We live in a never enough world, or we cannot consume fast enough, never content with what we have, there is only struggle. Gratitude can resolve this and bring short term happiness. Gratitude has a short-term impact but has not been shown to have a sustained impact because it is not a natural lifestyle. Gratitude is the least deeply felt of all human emotions. Whatever you do for anyone, you are better off forgetting you ever did it and just did it for yourself because the beneficiary has. If your idea of gratitude is reciprocation, then you are in for a world of heartbreak and pain.
Appreciation is an attitude of gratitude, life is giving and receiving, and we cannot give without receiving. Sometimes we are looking to the wrong source of our receiving. You must convey your wants and expect it to come, but we never can guess from where it will be coming. As my spiritual friends would say, “Draw an eye onto god, and he will draw an eye onto you.” If you say thank you often and sincerely, that is the opposite of being ungrateful and arrogant. Hubris tends to intimidate others and a lack of gratitude. Fight pride with humility, fight snobs with sacred people, fight fear with openness, fight grumps with gratitude.
John Wooden said, “Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
Tactics for Wholehearted Gratitude
Reflect on your mortality. 1.be authentic and let go of what others think 2. cultivate self-compassion and let go of perfectionism 3. cultivate the resilient spirit and let go of numbing and powerlessness 4. cultivate gratitude and joy and let go of fear
If you are ever down and want to snap out, ask who loves me and who do I love? In your life, what do you feel most grateful for? It will change your focus immediately.
Make a Daily Self Gratitude practice, list 3 things to be grateful for while you exercise or eat breakfast.
Make a Daily Family Gratitude practice, together with sharing OUR STRUGGLES and Gratitude.
Stephen Choo Quan
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