{"id":6208,"date":"2019-09-26T22:13:33","date_gmt":"2019-09-27T04:13:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/?p=6208"},"modified":"2020-11-27T15:14:16","modified_gmt":"2020-11-27T21:14:16","slug":"happiness-can-be-learned-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/happiness-can-be-learned-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Happiness Can be Learned &#8211; Part 1 &#8211; Social Interaction"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-playlist wp-audio-playlist wp-playlist-light\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"wp-playlist-current-item\"><\/div>\n\t\t<audio controls=\"controls\" preload=\"none\" width=\"674\"\n\t\t\t><\/audio>\n\t<div class=\"wp-playlist-next\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"wp-playlist-prev\"><\/div>\n\t<noscript>\n\t<ol>\n\t\t<li><a href='https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Happiness-Can-be-Learned-Social-Interaction.mp3'>Happiness Can be Learned - Social Interaction<\/a><\/li><li><a href='https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happiness-can-be-Learned-Money.mp3'>Happiness can be Learned -Money<\/a><\/li><li><a href='https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Happiness-Can-be-Learned-Personal-Mastery.mp3'>Happiness Can be Learned - Personal Mastery<\/a><\/li>\t<\/ol>\n\t<\/noscript>\n\t<script type=\"application\/json\" class=\"wp-playlist-script\">{\"type\":\"audio\",\"tracklist\":true,\"tracknumbers\":true,\"images\":true,\"artists\":true,\"tracks\":[{\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Happiness-Can-be-Learned-Social-Interaction.mp3\",\"type\":\"audio\/mpeg\",\"title\":\"Happiness Can be Learned - Social Interaction\",\"caption\":\"\",\"description\":\"\\\"Happiness Can be Learned - Social Interaction\\\".\",\"meta\":{\"artist\":\"Stephen Choo Quan\",\"album\":\"Design and Execute\",\"length_formatted\":\"5:59\"},\"image\":{\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/audio.svg\",\"width\":48,\"height\":64},\"thumb\":{\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/audio.svg\",\"width\":48,\"height\":64}},{\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happiness-can-be-Learned-Money.mp3\",\"type\":\"audio\/mpeg\",\"title\":\"Happiness can be Learned -Money\",\"caption\":\"\",\"description\":\"\\\"Happiness can be Learned -Money\\\".\",\"meta\":{\"artist\":\"Stephen Choo Quan\",\"album\":\"Design and Execute\",\"length_formatted\":\"11:36\"},\"image\":{\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/audio.svg\",\"width\":48,\"height\":64},\"thumb\":{\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/audio.svg\",\"width\":48,\"height\":64}},{\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Happiness-Can-be-Learned-Personal-Mastery.mp3\",\"type\":\"audio\/mpeg\",\"title\":\"Happiness Can be Learned - Personal Mastery\",\"caption\":\"\",\"description\":\"\\\"Happiness Can be Learned - Personal Mastery\\\".\",\"meta\":{\"artist\":\"Stephen Choo Quan\",\"album\":\"Design and Execute\",\"length_formatted\":\"6:14\"},\"image\":{\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/audio.svg\",\"width\":48,\"height\":64},\"thumb\":{\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/audio.svg\",\"width\":48,\"height\":64}}]}<\/script>\n<\/div>\n\t\n<h1>INTRODUCTION<\/h1>\n<p><em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u201cNATURE HAS PLACED MANKIND UNDER THE GOVERNANCE OF TWO SOVEREIGN MASTERS, PAIN AND PLEASURE. IT IS FOR THEM ALONE TO POINT OUT WHAT WE OUGHT TO DO, AS WELL AS TO DETERMINE WHAT WE SHALL DO.\u201d \u2013 JEREMY BENTHAM (1748-1832)<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">In this way, he claims that attaining pleasure (happiness) and avoiding pain (unhappiness) are the ultimate objectives of everything we do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">There are so many ways to find happiness, many streams leading to that blue ocean. Happiness is found in\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/to-sleep-or-not-to-sleep\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">sleeping<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0late,\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/reading-list\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">reading<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, sex, cuddling, recharge of the soul, visiting a zoo, museum, theater, clutter-busting, gardening, social work, helping neighbors, beautifying the home,\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/think-wow\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">thinking<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">,\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/i-pray-you-enough\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">praying<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, meditating, and yoga, to name a few.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_9176\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-9176\" style=\"width: 554px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-9176 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness.png\" alt=\"happiness\" width=\"554\" height=\"597\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness.png 554w, https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness-278x300.png 278w, https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness-390x420.png 390w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 554px) 100vw, 554px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-9176\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Happiness Map<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">A haphazard search for happiness leads to unpredictable and unsustainable results. Learning how to get happiness, the methods are mostly not formally taught, but we need to learn this life essential. I have taken a stab to create some broad predictable, digestible tributaries that hopefully can help others find their path to their greatest swim in that ocean of happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Where you live can make the biggest impact on your happiness<\/span><\/em><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">. There are food, shelter, education, and satisfying work. The work becomes more enjoyable if you have a best friend at work and feel like you are truly helping others.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u201cHAPPY FAMILIES ARE ALL ALIKE; EVERY UNHAPPY FAMILY IS UNHAPPY IN ITS OWN WAY.\u201d \u2013TOLSTOY<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">If we follow Tolstoy\u2019s sentiments, it will make sense to share my thoughts in light that there might be a commonality between our lives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Notwithstanding that, luck and mindset create the zone for happiness.<\/span><\/em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0I have recently realized that there are 2 main ways I have experienced happiness. The first way is in\u00a0<\/span><em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">the present moment,<\/span><\/em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0what I shall refer to as\u00a0<\/span><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">the experiencing self.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0The second is the\u00a0<\/span><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">reflective self, in<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0which case remembering the good times allows me to relive the moments repeatedly and experience the emotion just as I did when it first happened.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Experiencing Self<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">The experiencing self we will break into 3 categories (and each will become a part of this series)<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Social Interaction:\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">the bulk of social interaction is family and friends but not excluding interaction on the job. This is not to be mistaken for being an extrovert. It does not matter if you are an introvert or an extrovert; this interaction makes you feel the kind of love you want in your life. It might be romantic love, but it could also be a deep friendship or a general sense of support and connection.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Internal Control and Personal Mastery:\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Autonomy\u2014the desire to direct our own lives; Mastery\u2014the urge to get better and better at something that matters.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Money and Job:\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">what we are paid, what is the purpose of the work, and what we achieve toward that purpose\u2014the yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than ourselves.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Reflecting Self<\/span><\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Exploring and\/or Reflecting<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">: We are born to explore, experience, learn, and grow. When we reflect on these experiences, we can enjoy the happiness in the same manner that we did \u201cat the moment\u201d it happened. Therefore, many people cherish photographs, albums, and personal videos.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Let us go over the experiencing self in more detail.<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_9183\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-9183\" style=\"width: 554px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness1.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-9183 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness1.png\" alt=\"happiness map\" width=\"554\" height=\"597\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness1.png 554w, https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness1-278x300.png 278w, https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/happiness1-390x420.png 390w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 554px) 100vw, 554px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-9183\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Happiness Map<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h1><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">SOCIAL INTERACTION \u2013 PART 1<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Family relations and personal life make 85% contributions to happiness. That is, points 1, and 2 above make up the Pareto of our happiness. 85% of happiness in my life comes from spending time with people I love, and 15% comes from work achievement, quality at work, and quantity of time with professionals at the job. Socialization and intimacy contribute substantially to most of my memories of peak moments of happiness. Happiness is amplified when shared.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">7 THINGS TO IMPROVE SOCIAL INTERACTION<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Seek to understand others before trying to be understood. I will borrow 3 of the\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/13-virtues-of-benjamin-franklin\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">13 virtues from Benjamin Franklin<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0and add 4 more to assist to that end.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Cheerful:\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">people love to see and support \u201cnice\u201d people, but nice is really defined as a cheerful person that makes others feel important.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Silence<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Sincerity<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Humility<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">. Imitate Jesus and Socrates. Avoid phrases like \u201cyou always or you never,\u201d get rid of pride words like \u201cabsolutely, surely, always, never\u201d but instead use \u201cI concede, I understand, I apprehend, I can imagine, I can see in this case you are right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Compassion<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0is the key to happiness in relationships. Living a principle-based life is the only way to happiness, not efficiency of the clock or accuracy of your facts but the compass of the heart. Avoid the need to be right. It is better to be kind than to be right.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Attention<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0is an important factor for a happy relationship. Small positive attention is the little things that make the big difference. For example, just remembering someone\u2019s name or birthday shows you are paying attention in a big way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Social:<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0Most of all, you must socialize to practice all the above. I have written a specific article for beginner dancers to\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"http:\/\/www.trinijunglejuice.com\/tjjnews\/articles\/4627\/1\/How-to-Raid-the-Salsa-Cliques-and-be-a-Dance-Commando\/Page1.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">socialize in the salsa community<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, where there is a significant rejection per hour. If you ask a new partner to dance a song every 3 minutes, then in 60 minutes, you will have to ask for 20 dances. That is 20 possibilities of rejection. The same approach to overcome the fear of rejection can work in a conference or enterprise company meeting where there is no obligation to interact and get rejected.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">in part 2, I will dive into the aspect of\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/happiness-can-be-learned-part-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Internal Control and Personal Mastery<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">in part 3, I will dive into the aspect of\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"http:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/happiness-can-be-learned-part3\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Money and Job<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">YOU WILL FIND MEANING AND HAPPINESS WHEN YOU CAN FIND BEAUTY IN A FLOATING FISH HEAD IN A BOWL OF DIRTY WATER. \u2013 Wayne Dyer, in his book, Secrets of Manifesting<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<h1><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Stephen Choo Quan<\/span><\/h1>\n<p><strong>Thanks for reading and Sharing \u2764<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Follow me\u00a0On:\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/taylorchooquan\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Instagram<\/a>\u00a0|\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/stephen.chooquan\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Facebook<\/a>\u00a0|\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/stephenchooquan\/\">Linked in<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Subscribe for <a href=\"http:\/\/wlcm.growthtools.net\/nyJlzzeaYcwFrTO\">Monthly Inspiration<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>INTRODUCTION \u201cNATURE HAS PLACED MANKIND UNDER THE GOVERNANCE OF TWO SOVEREIGN MASTERS, PAIN AND PLEASURE. IT IS FOR THEM ALONE TO POINT OUT WHAT WE OUGHT TO DO, AS WELL AS TO DETERMINE WHAT WE SHALL DO.\u201d \u2013 JEREMY BENTHAM (1748-1832) In this way, he claims that attaining pleasure (happiness) and avoiding pain (unhappiness) are [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6238,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/magic.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6208"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6208\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9938,"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6208\/revisions\/9938"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6238"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.designandexecute.com\/designs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}